I’ve found it difficult to post here or be in Second Life lately for a couple of reasons. The health is good, but the huge amount of energy I’ve had to expend in RL has just left me very little time for the time I need to get everything done in Second Life. For the most part this isn’t a personal blog and so I haven’t shared alot about it, but my marriage of several years is basically falling apart and we’ve ended up seperated, this has lead to a whole new way of life for me and getting into SL to work or hangout just hasn’t been doable.

The good news is I’m slowly coming back, the bad news is that it’s slow. Concerts have been put on hiatus due to financial difficulty. I have some amazing renters who are keeping the sims alive and well for the most part. IDG is still around, although I need to make new notecards and repackage all my builds just to bring them up to date. I have some ideas but finding the time to do them from a creative standpoint when you feel beat up isn’t easy.

This sounds morbid, it’s not, things are getting better, just having a huge lack of time. I wish you all well, my IM’s go to my phone, feel free to ping anytime.

This is my response.

I personally have guy friends in sl, but they are usually friends of my girlfriends. There are several reasons for this, but the main issue comes down to the ‘Alphaness’ of most men. Especially geek men. Most of us are not assured of ourselves in real life. I hate to say it, but it’s true, sometimes SL and life can heal us of that, sometimes not. Part of the reason we stick with SL and enjoy it is because it gives us a confidence or an ability to not be so awkward. I’m much more comfortable using a keyboard to communicate then I am face to face. Although this isn’t true anymore it definately used to be much more so. Most men who are uncomfortable in relationships in general, are also uncomfortable around other men and their tendency to ‘measure’ things.

I don’t like sports in general, I can talk about networking and comics and esoteric subjects such as celtic mythology and the theology of glory versus the theology of humiliation. Those are things most guys don’t care about, and it won’t impress them. My interest in art, creation, educational outreach through diabetes… these are things women are much more receptive of.

Now, having said that, I do have guy friends, but it’s just not that important to maintain relationships with them, because we can not talk for years and still hang out. It’s just a guy thing. Listen to most of Jeff Foxworthy’s commentary on relationships couched as comedy and you’ll see that’s the case. Guys don’t really hang out that much and uncomfortable guys even less so. When I talk to a guy friend, I don’t want to talk about anything that can measure dominance or who is better then who, and 9 times out of 10 with other men, that’s what it turns into.

This turned into more of a ramble then I meant it to be.

1. Most Guys in SL are geeks who are uncomfortable with all relationships and desperately crave attention from the opposite sex.

2. Most Guys in SL who talk to other guys aren’t there for ‘buddy’ relationships.

3. Buddy relationships need to have a lack of ‘Alpha’ male crap, and that’s hard to find online in any form, especially among ‘gamers’.

4. Most of us arty types are just more comfortable talking to people who appreciate it, and it’s not where traditional male bonding fodder lies.

Hope that helps Ali. We’re not deficient, just, not that interested in other guys.