This is my response.

I personally have guy friends in sl, but they are usually friends of my girlfriends. There are several reasons for this, but the main issue comes down to the ‘Alphaness’ of most men. Especially geek men. Most of us are not assured of ourselves in real life. I hate to say it, but it’s true, sometimes SL and life can heal us of that, sometimes not. Part of the reason we stick with SL and enjoy it is because it gives us a confidence or an ability to not be so awkward. I’m much more comfortable using a keyboard to communicate then I am face to face. Although this isn’t true anymore it definately used to be much more so. Most men who are uncomfortable in relationships in general, are also uncomfortable around other men and their tendency to ‘measure’ things.

I don’t like sports in general, I can talk about networking and comics and esoteric subjects such as celtic mythology and the theology of glory versus the theology of humiliation. Those are things most guys don’t care about, and it won’t impress them. My interest in art, creation, educational outreach through diabetes… these are things women are much more receptive of.

Now, having said that, I do have guy friends, but it’s just not that important to maintain relationships with them, because we can not talk for years and still hang out. It’s just a guy thing. Listen to most of Jeff Foxworthy’s commentary on relationships couched as comedy and you’ll see that’s the case. Guys don’t really hang out that much and uncomfortable guys even less so. When I talk to a guy friend, I don’t want to talk about anything that can measure dominance or who is better then who, and 9 times out of 10 with other men, that’s what it turns into.

This turned into more of a ramble then I meant it to be.

1. Most Guys in SL are geeks who are uncomfortable with all relationships and desperately crave attention from the opposite sex.

2. Most Guys in SL who talk to other guys aren’t there for ‘buddy’ relationships.

3. Buddy relationships need to have a lack of ‘Alpha’ male crap, and that’s hard to find online in any form, especially among ‘gamers’.

4. Most of us arty types are just more comfortable talking to people who appreciate it, and it’s not where traditional male bonding fodder lies.

Hope that helps Ali. We’re not deficient, just, not that interested in other guys.

Topic for today: How long have you been a blogger? How has it enriched your life?

My very very first blog post was in the middle of 2005 and was a blog to document the fictional journal of my star wars galaxies character, also where I got my second life name, Noelyci. Thanks to the persistance of the internets you can still read it here.

Over time my eyes went and I couldn’t play SWG anymore so I gravitated to Second Life where I could take things at my own pace, I’d been there since 2004 but didn’t devote as much time before then. A new game, meant a new blog, especially since I was running my own business there, so ingmanndesign.blogspot.com was born. I eventually moved to my own domain and here I am. I love blogging, hoping that my posts help people avoid some of the mistakes that I’ve made and that they teach, it’s also gratifying that people I admire read my blog, it’s always nice to see Encore or Tateru make a comment, on top of it I’ve made real friends like Alicia and Pheobe and Tymm and and and…. well, the list could go on for a very long time.

Turn in tomorrow for the next post.

Licia's Loft

The Brochure: Spacious modern style can be yours in this oversized penthouse loft. Suitable as either a skybox or ground floor dwelling this mod/copy building has a large living space on both floors, private rooms to relax in and a huge rooftop perfect for those intimate evenings under the stars. This isn’t a small build at 30×40 but it does fit on a relatively medium sized parcel and is beautifully textured. At 131 prims it’s simple elegance will surprise you. As always it is mod/copy so you can change textures as you wish.

The Story: This was a special build for one of my dear friends, Alicia, who became homeless?!? I don’t know how the rest of Ch’Know responds to tragedy like this, but I get my hammer. Ok, so it’s a pixel hammer, and it’s not really a hammer, more of a stretch your hand out and wave particles, and…. anyway… This was fun to do but was basically completely done off of two pictures. I’d tell you more of the story but it’s best if you go read her reactions to it here. Ultimately the best line on her story to me is that,

“I really kind of braced myself to say “Well…can you….” LOL But immediately I loved it. And I do NOT fall for houses right away. EVER. It was just so me, though! “

She has quite a few more photos too. The feature I really like is how the door comes into the house from under the stairs, it ‘feels’ modern and sophisticated to me. To reduce lag the stairs themselves are phantom and decor, you actually walk up invisible ramps to reduce collisions and server lag. (That’s a hint budding builders.)

I and the other designers I work with love doing customs, if you think it’d be too expensive, drop me a line, you might be surprised. Also, Licia’s Loft is now on sale until May 1st, after that it goes to it’s normal price, and it’s available in world in my store.